ROMNEY BITCHES

$250K A YEAR IS MIDDLE CLASS
THIS IS SO TRUE. WHAT IF YOU ABORTED JESUS. OH MY GOD. DOES ANYONE HAVE A XANAX? I ATE ALL OF MINE TEN MINUTES AGO. 

THIS IS SO TRUE. WHAT IF YOU ABORTED JESUS. OH MY GOD. DOES ANYONE HAVE A XANAX? I ATE ALL OF MINE TEN MINUTES AGO. 

Rich White Republican Name Generator

In case you want to fit in (and as the lovely ladies of Heathers once said, “Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling!”) here is a gift from me, to you. Now stop bitching about your lack of handouts from beautiful, rich, white people. 

THIS IS A REALITY THAT SOME OF US (NOT ME. OR RAQUEL.) FACE, EVERY DAY. 

THIS IS A REALITY THAT SOME OF US (NOT ME. OR RAQUEL.) FACE, EVERY DAY. 

From The Princeton Tiger, Top Ten Old Money Names

HUNGOVER

For when you’ve had six too many chardonnays and can-NOT be bothered to scream to your maid Consuela to discreetly signal to your driver James to let your personal assistant Kristen know that SOMEONE needs to run to some posh private drug store to purchase the next step down from Plan A. Because that’s ok for you, but it is constantly abused by minorities and college students who should only have access to abstinence as a form of birth control. Because they’re just not mature enough or monetarily well off enough to be allowed abortions or anything of the sort.